


is this a test?

by varthandi



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Creativitwins, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Twins, Deceit | Janus Sanders Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mild Language, Multi, No Incest, Past Janus/King Creativity, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, V-shaped polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:20:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27382564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/varthandi/pseuds/varthandi
Summary: Janus has gotten over the heartbreak of losing the first Creativity. But now his heart has a new problem: the twins.
Relationships: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 14
Kudos: 152





	is this a test?

**Author's Note:**

> _I can't separate your sins,_   
>  _To me you're acting like you're twins_   
>  _This is a mess,_   
>  _**Is this a test?** _   
>  _How many guesses do I get?_   
>  _Till only one of you is left_   
>  _You're quite the same,_   
>  _If love's the gain_   
>  _I want to see emotions coloring the sky_   
>  _To the point it will make me wanna cry_

"Refill?" Roman asked, holding up the pot of fresh coffee, lights dancing in his emerald eyes.

Janus nodded once and pushed his almost-empty mug towards the prince, expecting him to pour directly into it. Instead, Roman reached down and took it, his fingertips brushing against the fabric of Janus's gloves, leaving just a trace of lingering warmth. Janus froze at the contact.

Roman gave him a soft smile as he tipped the carafe into the black and gold ceramic - a gift from Roman himself that Janus used as much as he wore his hat.

The hat _he_ gave Janus.

"Here."

Janus blinked as the mug slid back into his hands, his eyes captured by the motion of Roman's finger as it trailed down the handle, caressing the golden snake that formed it, and pulled back as he turned around.

The prince was so much like _him_. Janus saw it in the way Roman's eyes sparkled when he smiled, the way his lips quirked up in a smirk, the way his laugh could fill an empty room and make Janus feel so warm just from hearing it.

Janus watched Roman as the latter prepared his own coffee, mug squeezed tight in his hands as he tried not to think about just how warm the other side's fingers had felt against his, even through the gloves. Would they run as hot against his heat-leeching scales as _his_ did? As hot as the scorching flame of his brother's broad chest across Janus's back as he draped himself over the smaller side's shoulders, whining for attention?

Janus forced himself not to melt into the warmth, holding himself as rigidly as he could, closing his eyes and letting out his breath as evenly as he could, in the vain hope that it would sound like an exasperated sigh and not a contented one. His mug of fresh, untouched coffee felt like a burnt-out match compared to the bonfire just behind him, and the snake within him wanted nothing more than to wrap itself around Remus and _bask_.

He opened his eyes to see Roman's glaring emerald eyes, still so lovely despite the sudden change. Janus's heart almost stopped, wondering what he'd done wrong, until he realized it was directed at Remus.

Remus was grinning smugly when Janus finally turned to look at him. That never boded well. Despite his intense desire to watch the brothers duke it out in a supposedly healthy manner, Janus refused to become a victim in another of their admittedly entertaining prank wars.

"And what are you smiling about, you cretin?" Janus asked archly, hoping the fondness in his voice remained undetectable.

Remus's eyes narrowed and his grin widened, but neither he nor Roman seemed to acknowledge him. Janus could feel Remus tightening his hold, embracing him around the shoulders and squeezing. The deceitful side could barely hold back the high-pitched whimper from escaping his throat. He was absolutely certain both of the twins could hear it, but if they did, they gave no indication.

Roman's brow furrowed as his glaring contest with Remus continued. Remus shifted closer and closer to Janus, entrapping him even more in his arms, until they were practically cheek to cheek. Between Roman's deepening glower and Remus's closeness, Janus could feel his heart skipping beats for entirely too many reasons.

Then Remus licked him, tongue wet and blisteringly hot against Janus's scales.

Janus yelped and leapt up, slapping a hand to the cheek where Remus had _licked_ him and shoving Remus off and away in startled panic, the other half of his face turning scarlet.

Remus landed on his ass, cackling at Janus's reaction and Roman's scandalized face. He spun around and rolled over into his stomach, nestling his chin between his palms, waggling his eyebrows and grinning suggestively, legs kicking in the air. 

Janus was struck by a memory of _him_ doing something similar, oh, so very long ago. The ache in his heart grew, twisting the scars he'd covered up and hidden away, trying to claw them open.

"You-!" Roman shrieked, pointing angrily at his brother. "That was out of bounds!"

"Just 'cause _you_ don't have the guts to do it doesn't mean it's against the rules!" Remus shot back.

The pounding of Janus's heart in his ears drowned out whatever else they were saying, just as the tears in his eyes warped his vision, blurring black and white and red and green and he couldn't-

he couldn't-

_He couldn't._

  
  


Janus's abrupt departure was what stopped their bickering.

The twins stared at the empty space where he'd disappeared, then at one another, mirroring each other's surprised confusion.

Roman's brow creased in worry. "Did we…?" He asked as Remus stood up.

Remus shrugged helplessly. "He was super into it a minute ago. Didn’t you hear him whining like he was getting-”

_“Remus!”_

“-and you should have _seen_ the way he was staring at you! It was like he thought you were the only thing that existed."

"And you just _had_ to butt in, didn't you?"

"Yeah! So that _you_ weren't hogging all of his attention!"

"Maybe if you stopped invading his personal space, he'd like you _more_!"

"He already likes _me_ more than he likes _you_! At least _I_ hung out with him after the split!"

Roman's eyes widened, his clenched jaw fell open and Remus's hunched and aggressive posture straightened as they both realized what had upset Janus.

"Fuck."

  
  


Janus curled up into a ball in his bed, trying not to let his sobs escape.

He missed him. He missed him _so much_.

But it wasn’t just that, was it? As much as Janus had loved and missed _him_ , the twins were _worse_. He’d grieved, and he’d moved on. But then the twins had come and so utterly charmed him, in their own ways, and he’d fallen all over again, like the idiot he was. So like _him_ , and yet so different. And so Janus yearned. For Roman. For Remus.

This was all his own fault. Why did he have to go and fall in love? Once had been enough, but _thrice_?

It wasn’t _fair_. They didn’t know, did they? Were they _trying_ to torture him? Were they _mocking_ him? He’d been so careful not to let it show, but could anyone blame him, when Roman looked at him with eyes so soft he felt like he was floating? When Remus held him so close, so casually, and oh so gently? Did they see his longing, did they laugh at it, decide to toy with his emotions for their own amusement? Did they know he would play along regardless of their intentions, so desperate was he for mere scraps of their attention, let alone their affection?

Janus did _not_ let out a sob into his pillow. He _didn’t_ feel the tears dampen the fabric against his eyes, or shudder with the force of his cries, or clench his entire body into a ball so tight he knew he would be sore later. And he _didn’t_ freeze in place when he heard a loud, decisive knock on his door.

“Janus?”

_Roman._

Janus did not move.

“Jan! We know you’re in there!”

“A little _gentler_ , maybe?”

“Okay, fine, geez.”

“Janus? Please answer us. We’re worried.”

Was it the truth? Or just a sweet lie to bait him back? Janus couldn’t tell in his overly emotional state.

“I can lick you again if you want!”

_“Remus!”_

“... I’m sorry for licking you.”

“We’re _both_ sorry. For making you uncomfortable, I mean.”

Janus hiccupped.

“Janus,” Roman said. “We’re coming in. If you really don’t want us to, just let us know, okay?”

The door creaked open, a stream of light cutting through the darkness of the room. Janus tucked himself deeper into his sheets, saying nothing.

Footsteps. The rustling of cloth. The shift in weight as someone sat on the bed. A spot of warmth from behind him, hovering over his shoulder, close enough to touch.

“Is it okay if I touch you, Janus?”

Janus did not answer, but did not reject the warming touch, diffused as it was through the blanket. He felt the bed sink a little more, presumably due to Remus joining his brother. They stayed like that, in the dark and quiet, Roman softly caressing Janus’s shoulder.

It was Remus who broke the silence.

“Janus? Do you not like us?”

 _I like you_ too _much._

“I’m really sorry I licked you. I won’t do it again.”

_It’s fine._

_..._

_It_ was _a little weird, though._

“Unless you want me to.”

Roman stopped massaging Janus’s shoulder and sighed heavily. _“Remus.”_

“Sorry! It’s just- We both like you, okay? Like, _like-like_ you. A _lot_.”

_…_

_What?_

“What my brother is _trying_ to say is that we made a dumb mistake. Instead of talking to you about our feelings, we just used you for a stupid competition. We made it about ourselves, when it should’ve been about you.”

“... Competition?”

Janus had somehow loosened his hold on his legs. His muscles were so much more relaxed, all from Roman’s comforting touch and the radiating warmth of the twins’ presence in his room.

“Roman and I were wondering which one of us could make you blush more. Then we kinda upped the ante to see who could get you to confess first.”

“Which was arguably the worst choice we could have made at that point, seeing as you’ve been pining since before we split.”

“... what?” Janus pulled his quilt halfway down to look at them, each half-silhouetted and half-illuminated by the stark hallway light. He was barely able to see them, blinded as he was from the darkness of his eyes shut tight under the covers, but they seemed to be looking in his general direction. Roman’s hand rested in the space between the darkness and the light, between him and them.

“Well, we don’t remember a whole lot from _before_ , but we remember you, Double Dee. And how much we liked you. Which was a whole fucking lot.”

“And still is. Well, after we got to know you better. As us, and not, you know, _him_.”

Janus blinked slowly. What was he hearing? Had he fallen asleep? Was this just a cruel trick his mind was playing on him, telling him what he wanted most to hear? Eyes now adjusted to the dimness, he could see the soft, sorrow-filled look in the prince’s eyes and the downturn of his parted lips. Remus had turned away, sniffling and wiping his own tears on his sleeve.

Roman reached up and held Janus’s cheek, wiping away the tears streaming from his eyes, his hand so hot against his scales he wondered vaguely why the tears hadn’t steamed away. Janus shut his eyes against the blissful heat.

This was real. It had to be. His dreams could never quite replicate the sheer warmth and vitality the twins exuded.

“He loved you. And we know you loved him. But we understand if you don’t feel that way about _us_.”

“We’ll leave you alone now, Jay. Sorry.”

Roman smiled, bittersweet, and pulled back slowly, turning away.

No. 

_No._

_“No!”_ Quick as a striking viper, Janus seized Roman’s sleeve and Remus’s sash. They turned around, surprise apparent on their faces.

He wasn’t sure how he looked in their eyes, pitiful and tear-stained and stricken with loss, but the twins immediately pulled him into an embrace.

They held him, tightly, their bodies burning against his skin, hands rubbing soothingly against his back as he cried.

“I-!” He had to tell them. They had to _know_. Why wouldn’t the words come out?

Roman shushed him. “You don’t have to say anything, bumblebee.”

“No! I-!” Janus gasped desperately.

Remus nuzzled into his neck. “We get it, Janny Deceito.”

“I- I love you! Both of you! So much!” Finally. _Finally_.

Roman and Remus squeezed him tighter.

“We love you, too.”

And just like that, the burning, blistering heat of them suffused into Janus, warming him from the inside out as he sobbed joyfully in their arms.

**Author's Note:**

> title and lyrics from "Tangled Up" by Caro Emerald, that whole verse was kind of an inspiration for this lol  
> it's a bop, but if you like electroswing you already knew that ;)


End file.
